[12:32] Sneeky Squared: Greg, I certainly hope you don't hate me.
[12:32] Sneeky Squared: Or think badly of me.
[12:33] rckvocalpwr: i cant hate you for doing what you did. if this is what makes you happy or how your emotions led you, i cant tell you that you are wrong for following that. that would be wrong of me really
[12:33] Sneeky Squared: Well good, except this doesn't make me happy.
[12:34] Sneeky Squared: But I'm glad that I've still got you as a friend.
[12:34] rckvocalpwr: no prob C Bear
[12:24] Sneeky Squared: hi
[12:24] nee0000007: (auto-response from nee0000007) I've got you talking with your hands and I've got you smiling with your legs.
[12:25] nee0000007: hey'
[12:25] Sneeky Squared: And hi again
[12:26] nee0000007: and hey again
[12:26] Sneeky Squared: I gave it roundabouts 5 minutes. Can I come back yet?
[12:27] Sneeky Squared: I miss snuggling with you and your ridiculous faces when you're high and your big/tiny crab claw and your tiny "shhh's".
[12:27] Sneeky Squared: And watching movies with you and enjoying music with you and riding in the car with you and looking at your nose.
[12:27] Sneeky Squared: ~sigh~
[12:27] Sneeky Squared: I've got it bad.
[12:28] Sneeky Squared: ?
[12:29] nee0000007: sorry.
[12:30] nee0000007: i'm sure its not that bad.
[12:30] Sneeky Squared: Bullshit. It is.
[12:31] Sneeky Squared: I've been so sad the past few days because I miss you and am homesick to the 10,000th degree
[12:32] Sneeky Squared: I've tried doing 8 million things that usually make me happy but to no avail.
[12:32] nee0000007: that sucks
[12:33] Sneeky Squared: And I know what could fix this. I thought this is what I needed, I thought I'd find something here that would give me a little extra of what I needed, but I made a big big mistake and I regret it like no other.
[12:34] nee0000007: what could fix this?
[12:34] nee0000007: oh yeah. you got a crazy letter
[12:34] Sneeky Squared: Being with you and working on what we needed to. 'Cause I know we could fix it with a little teeth pulling.
[12:34] nee0000007: i'm gonna open it.
[12:35] Sneeky Squared: Okay
[12:35] nee0000007: nevermind. it was junk. but it looked legit.
[12:35] Sneeky Squared: Okay, well any thoughts on what I just said?
[12:36] nee0000007: i disagree at this point.
[12:37] Sneeky Squared: Disagree with what?
[12:37] nee0000007: that what we need to is to get back together and pull some teeth.
[12:37] Sneeky Squared: ~sigh~
[12:38] Sneeky Squared: Well. I don't think that's what we NEED to do, what I WANT to do is come back and snuggle and laugh with you.
[12:39] Sneeky Squared: Fixing shit would need to happen asap if that happened, but make no mistake, I don't think pulling teeth would be my utopia.
[12:39] nee0000007: you have to wait.
[12:39] Sneeky Squared: I don't want to wait for too long.
[12:39] Sneeky Squared: I'm scared that you're going to get away.
[12:40] nee0000007: why?
[12:40] Sneeky Squared: I know this is what you need, and this is prooooobably what I need, and it's prooooobably what WE need, and I suppose I'll do what needs to be done, concerning you especially.
[12:41] Sneeky Squared: Well, I don't know, I'm scared that you're going to find someone else or that you'll enjoy being away from me so much that you never want me to come back.
[12:43] nee0000007: what about you? what if you find someone else?
[12:44] Sneeky Squared: Well 1) then that would be shitty, because I lose you. But 2) You're it for me.
[12:45] nee0000007: how do you know?
[12:45] Sneeky Squared: Which seems obvious now and I'm not sure why I got confused in the first place, but I suppose I just needed to see if I could get that other...thing that I needed. I would have always wondered otherwise. And this is apparently what we needed, so I guess we're killing 2 birds with one stone.
[12:47] Sneeky Squared: How do I know?! The same reasons that we always worked so well together. It's no brain science that we're about as great for eachother as 2 people can be. I'm not saying perfect, duh, but we work very well together, right down to how my face fits perfectly in yours.
[12:48] nee0000007: i see. it still hurts that you had to see if you could get that other thing.
[12:49] Sneeky Squared: I know, and I'm sorry. But again, make no mistake, I didn't think that other thing was in Patrick. That other thing entailed removing myself from my current situations and throwing myself into completely new ones.
[12:49] Sneeky Squared: I had to.
[12:49] Sneeky Squared: And you apparently wanted me to on some level.
[12:49] nee0000007: i knew it was what you wanted since this whole thing started.
[12:50] Sneeky Squared: I wish I knew that's what I wanted since it started. I racked my brain 24/7 for a month.
[12:50] Sneeky Squared: I felt like ass because of it, for every reason imaginable.
[12:51] Sneeky Squared: Either way, I did what I had to do. So now I'm waiting on you.
[12:52] Sneeky Squared: And I'm sorry that it hurt you, but do know that it had nothing to do WITH you, it just had to affect you.
[12:52] Sneeky Squared: I'm very very sorry. I did/do care about your feelings and I hope that you know that, but I had to be selfish for 2 seconds and do what I needed to or I was going to explode. I'll make it up to you, though. I absolutely promise that.
[12:53] Sneeky Squared: I just hope that you don't get taken away before I get the chance to.
[12:54] nee0000007: we'll see what happens
[12:54] Sneeky Squared: Well even if you do, I'll fight for you .
[12:54] Sneeky Squared: That's the difference between you and I, I'd fight for you.
[12:56] nee0000007: yeah, i never did anything to keep you.
[12:56] Sneeky Squared: Not to say that the reason you didn't was because you pussed out, I'm just saying that you willingly let me leave. Not this one, I'm going to fight for you 100%.
[12:56] nee0000007: ever
[12:56] Sneeky Squared: Shhh. Read what I just said.
[12:57] Sneeky Squared: And I'm not saying that you never did anything for me, you just let me do what I wanted this time around.
[12:57] Sneeky Squared: And of course I'm going to let you do what you want, but if I feel like I'm losing you, then I'm not going to "take it laying down", to be cliche.
[12:59] nee0000007: okay. i'll keep that in mind.
[12:59] Sneeky Squared: Just hurry, please.
[13:00] Sneeky Squared: And in the mean time, maybe we can get things sorted.
[13:00] Sneeky Squared: Between you and I, I mean.
[13:00] Sneeky Squared: Or you. I've sorted myself 99% already.
[13:00] Sneeky Squared: What are you working on sorting?
[13:02] nee0000007: my self?
[13:03] Sneeky Squared: Yeah, with yourself. What are you working on sorting?
[13:03] nee0000007: what i want to do.
[13:04] Sneeky Squared: Because the way I see it, I had to leave to sort some things and see what was up elsewhere. I did that and I've had time to think on it and am ready to come back already, but you're making me wait and that's for a reason. So I wanted to know what reasons you've got, because in all honesty, I don't think that just time is what's going to fix us. We've got talk, we've got to do, we've got to take action.
[13:05] nee0000007: you're weird
[13:05] Sneeky Squared: Yes, but absorb what I said anyway
[13:06] Sneeky Squared: Also! What do you want to do? Did I hold you back? I tried my very hardest not to.
[13:09] nee0000007: no. i just thought of us and not of me. which is what i need to do.
[13:09] Sneeky Squared: I did that too, it's weird not thinking in terms of us.
[13:11] Sneeky Squared: Well. Just don't go too far away. Keep a spot open for me.
[13:11] Sneeky Squared: Please.
[13:12] Sneeky Squared: You are the bees' knees to me and absolutely almost exactly what I want and what I need in every way imaginable. I don't want to lose that because I know I'll never find anything/one as good as you and I'll never be as happy as I was with you.
[13:15] Sneeky Squared: Psssst.
[13:15] nee0000007: thats awfully nice of you to say.
[13:16] Sneeky Squared: Well I'm glad you think so.
[13:16] Sneeky Squared: But that's not just me being nice, that's how I honestly feel and I'm trying to be as open as possible with you.
[13:17] nee0000007: maxwell is in the way of the computer now
[13:17] Sneeky Squared: How is he?
[13:17] Sneeky Squared: I miss him too.
[13:18] nee0000007: he's okay. he won't leave me alone very much
[13:18] nee0000007: and he sleeps on my belly
[13:19] Sneeky Squared: While on the note of openness, I think that may have been the downfall of us, or one of them, at least. I think that we have to be absolutely 100% open and honest with eachother with no secrets or else they fester and get bigger and blow up and we didn't even see it coming. So I'm going to tell you exactly what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling when it comes up.
[13:19] Sneeky Squared: And hopefully you'll be able to work with it silently like you do.
[13:19] Sneeky Squared: Or idealy, get in the habit of it too.
[13:19] Sneeky Squared: Either way, I'm starting and I'm trying to start fixing.
[13:20] nee0000007: good, i guess
[13:20] Sneeky Squared: You guess?
[13:21] nee0000007: i just didn't really know how to respond.
[13:22] Sneeky Squared: Okay, well I'll take that I suppose.
[13:22] Sneeky Squared: I thought maybe you meant it as the "Good, except I don't care" kind of "I guess"
[13:22] Sneeky Squared: So yeah, I'll take that.
[13:23] nee0000007: nah
[13:23] Sneeky Squared:
[13:23] Sneeky Squared: Well I hope we can make eachother happy soon because I tell you what, if I don't get you, then I'm going to be one sad little girl.
[13:24] Sneeky Squared: Probably near permanently.
[13:27] nee0000007: word. well i'm gonna go shower and shit like that.
[13:27] nee0000007: i'm gross.
[13:27] Sneeky Squared: Okay
[13:27] Sneeky Squared: <3
[13:27] Sneeky Squared: I'm glad I got to spill my guts to you.
[13:27] Sneeky Squared: Most of them, at least =D
2:16 pm - Sunday, Mar. 09, 2008
Recent entries:
Test - Monday, Apr. 09, 2018
Test - Monday, Apr. 09, 2018
"If the answer is 'no', can I change your mind?" - Monday, Apr. 07, 2008
"Turn, smile, shift, repeat" - Sunday, Mar. 23, 2008
"And I wonder if she will stay, my little runaway." - Sunday, Mar. 09, 2008
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others: